Crossroads.

First thing is I wrote a blog about Mastering anger at blogspot back in April. I have been trying to figure out the inner source of my inner anger issues which has some how been passed down from my past lives, as well as this life. I was told once that if you dream or remember certain aspects of past lives more than others that it means there are still past life issues unresolved, and some how have to come to terms and move on from them in this life. The past lives I remember have nothing but pain and anguish in them. After all I have been murdered brutally, Raped brutally and murdered in another, Had been forced to watch my children die and get murdered themselves, or even kill others in the fight for survival in my warrior days, and even burned at the stake. I know I had good lives too but they are fuzzy memories. I am a very old soul, and I am angry. My humanity doesn't understand why I had to go through these things. I know it was for a reason and since I believe these lives were mapped out before I was even alive in them, I don't understand why I would subject myself to such brutality. I have been hurt so much and through so much and I am just tired. I am angry because I feel the world's cruelty and the weight of it on my shoulders, and yet helpless that I can't do anything about it. The world I know is not in my hands, it belongs to the Gods and Goddesses of this plane of existence.

Which that very same thing leads me to the next part. The crossroads part I should say. I have a desire to help others. but yet I am artistic, and good with arts and crafts. I also learn fast and know that I can do anything I want to do. When I was Christian, I felt that God's will for me was to become a psychologist or a counselor. I didn't get very good grades, and I wasn't very passionate with pursuing that goal. It also doesn't help I was hurt in college really bad by my first love, and felt alone and isolated from everyone I knew because I went out of state for school. I have an interest on the theories of psychology, and in learning to understand how and why people think, and behave as they do, but I am already a natural at that. Why do I need to go through all this research and training to do what it is I naturally can do?

In any case, the part that gets me thinking is I am not Christian any more, and I fully realize what it means to have Free will. If that path was something that I was really meant to do then why is it that I feel I should be doing something different? Something that will drive my passion to work for what it is I really want to be doing? The most important question is also, What is it really that I want to do?  Psychology and being a counselor may seem like the right thing to do or seem like the best way to be helping people but who says it is the only path? What is it really that I want to do with my life that will make it meaningful? Does it really mean I really want to help people?

Does that also mean my life decisions based on my past religion no longer valid? Why am I still searching for these answers? I am 24 going on 25, shouldn't I already know the answer to that? Also what if I just exist for the sake of existence?  I am talented, strong willed, stubborn, courageous, and have so much potential to make my life the way I'd like it to be, so whats stopping me?  I think what's stopping me is that I don't have any idea what I really want from life.

Book of Shadows- home made

So I created my new BOS for when my other one gets filled up. Only got maybe 30 pages left. This is how I did it.

I got creative, I didnt have all the traditional tools like a crafting hole poker thing (awll) so I used scissors instead to poke the holes in the paper. but in any case Im getting a head of myself. I improvised a lot of the instructions on this website http://www.ehow.com/how_5476214_make-own-journal.html?fb_ref=like&a...

But in any case I measured the size that I want and my parents usually burn cardboard and paper. It just so happened that the swans man came this week too so there were boxes of swans food and the boxes were really thick. Thick enough for a hard cover and binding. So I cut the cardboard down to size plus cut up a bunch of paper to size.

Then I poked the holes in the paper and sewed the paper together. Then I put two strips through the bindings to hold the paper in place and glued the flaps down onto the cover. Then I decorated it accordingly.

So there is my new book of shadows. Made out of card board, but looks store bought lol :P I am sooo creative! Also since I made it, it has been calling me to write in it but I must wait until my other physical BOS is used up.

Protection from harmful spells

So every once in awhile you might piss someone off due to making mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes, we are only human after all. Unfortunately there are a lot of big heads out there who think they can do anything they want to someone without their consent. Those who have big heads and consider themselves more divine than you, may or may not try casting spells against you. One they cannot cast something without your consent, if they do they themselves will generate bad karma from it. Also if they do and you feel it working, please take action immediately.

Someone tried to cast a binding powers spell on me just because I pissed someone off. However, I apologized and did everything I could to rectify the situation, so why this spell was cast on me I have no idea. But to purposefully cast a binding powers spell to exact revenge is considered a harmful spell. Anyone who does something to hurt another for whatever reason is against moral standards. There is only one way someone can bind your powers and that is if you know about it and have a good reason, like if you were to go crazy and bringing harm to others through your magick, and/or if you were just too powerful and you needed to repress your powers until you could handle it. I have a friend who needed to do a power repression spell because she is just too powerful and cant control all her powers. It happens sometimes. one thing is for certain they thought I was a super newb, newbie that they thought I wouldn't figure it out, and might have felt it was for my own good.

Lets say you figure it out? what do you do. Well I made this spell return the spell that was cast. You do all the necessary prep work for it though. I'm just going to write the incantations. You may change things how you like, or add components but this is what I personally wrote.

Return this spell to its owner,

return it back 3 times fold,

let karma take its toll

so that no one is harmed

if this is your will so mote it be. 

Then imagine any energy that is not your returning to the source.

If the spell partially worked and your powers feel half way bound, or weaker than normal, I also wrote a restoration spell for it. 

Restore my memory to the way it was,

let me remember who I am,

and where my powers come from,

and restore the power that was lost,

Unbind the powers that were bound,

so harm comes to no one,

If this is your will so mote it be.

Well you may need to alter this one to fit your situation but when the spell was casted on me, I felt I was forgetting who I was and my purpose on this earth. That is why I also did a restoration memory thing in the beginning. Depending on the situation you may not need that part. 

Then the last thing I created was the protection spell against harmful spell.s

Protect me from harmful spells,

let no magick  or spell penetrate this shield without my consent,

those who attempt to harm me through magick or a spell

return it to its owner three times fold

so that no one may be harmed,

If this is your will, so mote it be.

Then imagine a huge shield around yourself and imagine spells bouncing off and returning to its owner.

In any case only use these spells to protect yourself. Some people are just immature and think magick is going to solve all their problems when it is not. Like with the above situation.

Silver RavenWolf Books pt 2

Ok, so after some events, I feel I am no longer a silver ravenwolf fan. I have nothing personal against her but I realize why I am so confused on wiccan theology and lets just say it is because Ravenwolf doesn't have accurate information. I still don't mind her spells as examples of how spells are constructed but that's about it.

My Journey Part 2

So my real name is not Neveah Jasmine. It is an alias designed to

protect my real identity. I don't want my real identity to be known due to the vast dangers associated with the internet.

This is an extension of my journey. To update about the changes I have made in the last few months.

In july/august of last year I started get dreams about demons attacking me as well as me attacking them to kill them or banish them. Id wake up feeling drained, and have physical evidence in the morning that I had fought something like bruises appearing out of randomness. I'd cover myself up in order to hide it. Then as I kept having them I started remembering that I had those dreams when I was little. One demon dream was so bad that I had been paralyzed and couldn't move when I woke up. I submerged myself in research, first starting with the Gnostic Gospels. I used to hold some Christian values and teachings when I first started out, and called myself Gnostic Christian. Got a hold of gnostic texts. I then did some research Wicca, druidism, and started rereading my old notes in high school on ancient Native Americans, since I was part Native American I had a secondary culture class and they taught other ancient ways of looking at things. I should have taken the hint back then but my parents negative influence did not help any. But in any case I learned to cleanse through Native American Techniques that seemed to keep negative/harmful dreams away. I made a dream catcher as well. And during this time I was really scared of my dreams. When I started on my path, I felt I was waking up finally from a bad nightmare. I felt like I had a new sense of purpose, instead of walking blind like I had been for years. I felt rejuvenated and started to ground myself in who I was. I started accepting what I really believed in, and that is Magick, and that there was more than one God. But I do admit my education isn't in depth. I have only looked at the basics of things to try and figure out what was going on with my dreams.

However, today I don't follow much of any Christian theology. I have been trying to purge myself and cleanse myself of those values that were thrust upon me by my family. To change everything is hard, especially getting rid of the duality notion. I still hold the duality notion but I don't consider things to be evil or good, just a matter of light and darkness, and basing things on intent, so its complicated. Still don't fully understand how there is no duality in Wicca. I understand more of the yin yang philosophy and the balance of light and dark, Life and death notion, and the other things the yin yang stands for. Reason why right now I can't choose a specific path to follow because I have too many complicated and mixed beliefs from many different religions, and I don't think I need to choose right now. I just enjoy using magick, creating and using spells, creating energy balls to play with and using my gifts to help others.

But in any case I did figure out that there is tons of negative energy being produced by my family, and my powers were awakened before I was ready so I had to cram everything and its all a big mess in my head, and those demon dreams are from my gift of sight and my medium abilities I think, well most of them were anyway. It was showing me that I needed to wake up, and cleanse myself, and start anew. However, Still cant explain the demon possession/death dream that left me paralyzed and cold as ice in the morning. That one still puzzles me, but Its not something I really want to fully understand or tell what the dream is right now. I hope to keep learning and find out new stuff about myself and to keep practicing magick.

The first spell - letting go of a past lover.

on October 31st 2010 I had cast my first spell. At the time I was still trying to get over my ex. It took me about a couple of weeks before I felt comfortable to try and cast a spell. The date was obviously Halloween or what pagans like to call  Samhain. I decided to try a letting go of past love spell on myself. After all it was a new year for pagans so I thought what a great way to welcome the new year by letting go of my past love and moving on into a new year. I basically did a simple candle spell. However, I ran into an issue. my alter at the time sat right below my fire alarm and burning stuff made it go off so I had to end things quickly. But anyway here's the spell.


Write on a piece of paper the name of your past lover/boyfriend etc,
Light a white candle
Chant this while you set the piece of paper on fire and put it in the culdrun to burn

"Godess help me to move on and look towards the future and to let go of the past lover.

I let go of (insert name here) in my heart.
Allow healing, learning, and growth.
A new beginning this year,
Refreshed and ready to love again
So none may be harmed,
if this is your will so mote it be"

Then after let the piece of paper burn to ashes, Then toss the ashes outside on the ground or in the wind.

Blood Magick- fertility spell.

So I have been researching about blood Magick, mainly because lately, due to a females reproduction hormones, I have been curious about menstrual blood magick. Mainly in the use in fertility rituals and spells. A few days ago I even wrote my own fertility spell. Which is a very taboo subject in Fluffy Bunny, white magick only, guru's. Blood Magick in general it is not always about sacrifices or about evil. In many ancient cultures, they practiced blood magick for protection, fertility and binding people/objects to you. It gives a ton of extra power to what you are doing because blood is associated with life and death. Most people when seeing blood think of death and destruction and darkness.

However, people forget blood is also what keeps us alive and therefore is a powerful life force, and is believed to be mainly about life force in many different cultures (ancient and/or modern). Blood has it's own element.  However I do not promote binding someone to you. In some ways that is messing with free will and messing with free will gives really bad Karma. Also blood magick is very very powerful. Do not use unless it is absolutely necessary. Like with all magick there are consequences and can be used for good or for evil. My intent is always about good.  It can be done as an additive to any ritual or spell you cast, except for money and success spells. I read somewhere it wont work for those type of spells. Not only that but you should only use your own blood, and not someone else's. If you do use someone elses blood depending on the ritual or spell that needs to be cast, they need to be giving it willingly and not be forced victims.

Anyway a reason why this is such a taboo subject, is because there are a lot of bad people out there who probably used blood magick for evil. Such as Charles Manson and the Manson family. They did what is known as bloodletting which is basically letting people bleed to a certain point and then closing the wound. I don't know what sick twisted rituals were preformed with bloodletting in Charles Manson's family of insanity, but I heard it was pretty dark and twisted. That is something that is not right. Anyway I just thought Id comment on that.

 Anyway as for my Fertility spell, the reason why I thought of it is because I know I may have reproduction issues in the future, and I know I want kids. I love kids and children and babys, and I want to conceive someday. I still am going to need to do all the medical treatments I need for my condition, but in order to help along in the process I decided to create a fertility spell using menstrual blood, and yes my own menstrual blood.

The herbs to be used or can be used are nettle leaves, rasberry leaves, rose buds, red clover, ginsing, and mistletoe.

The main incredient however is menstruation blood.

Basically what you do is mix up rasberry leaves, rose buds, gensing, mistletoe and also any other herbs you wish to add to it. Sprinkle some of the herbs around a green candle and save some for a sachet. The best way I think Id like to aquire menstration blood is to use a piece of gauze or cotten ball or something. Purify the blood and cleanse the energies with myrrh oil. Then put it in the sachet and bless it. Then put remaining herbs in the sachet, then put the satchet in the middle of the circle of herbs and in front of the candle.

Burn the green candle  and chant:

"Godess (of your choice) Mother earth, hear my plea,

Cleanse and purify my body so that it can carry life. 

(Imagine cleansing yourself and opening the pelvis chakra. Imagine good female/menstral health)

Menstral blood, life force of the unborn, I wilingly give,

Fertility herbs, the power to ready my body for new life,

green candle the color of earth and life,

Let life grow inside when its willing and ready,

Do this so that no one is harmed. 

If this is your will, so mote it be"

Then channel all the energies in the satchet and Imagine yourself pregnant. Imagine feeling life growing inside you and your desire for life and children, until you feel the spell is completed. Then do the closing ritualistic things, and then either you can carry it with you at all times, or Put the sachet under the matress that you sleep on or make love on, while making love to your husband/spouse/partner, or you can put it inside an easter egg and decorate the easter egg with symbols and runes of firtlity and put it in a window. Best time to do this would obviously be the full moon during spring, but can also be done at any time during the right moons phases and possible during a certain day during the week. 

Also note: if you wish to add a stone or something to the satchet too during the assembly process, Rose quartz I think are the best for channeling fertility spells. There might be other stones but it is up to you.

Anyway that is my fertility/health spell and a little information on blood magick.

New Additions to the alter

So I have a new dagger, quartz Crystal geodes, and a small vial of myrrh oil. I got these for fairly cheap. Cheaper than most cult stores would sell in MN. The geodes were 3 dollars each or two for 5 bucks and they were fairly large.  They protect and heal and absorb energies.  The dragon dagger is really nice to have because now I got something to really cut stuff with like herbs and candles. Very nice and got that for only 13 bucks. I thought it was awesome. When I saw it. I felt it calling to me. :)

My New Medicine Bag

So My old medicine bag got a little torn and tattered so I made a new one.. However, I fully handsewed everything and embroidered it myself.

What is Magick?

So many non-pagan people seem to not know or not understand what Magick truly is. Fundamental Christianity View Witch-Craft as something that comes from the devil and that it is evil. Which is a bunch of misunderstood stereotypes that are not true. Especially when Christianity is also guilty of witchcraft. If you are Christian asking, how So? Well I am about to give an answer to that.

Christianity stole Celtic Holidays and Stories and Celtic Rituals and transformed it to fit their doctrine. Christianity is only 3,000 years old where as the gods and other pagan beliefs extend far beyond those years. Ever since Humans walked this planet humans believed in the existence of more than one god. An example of this is during the holiday Lunasa or Lughnassadh (August 1st). It is a holiday to celebrate the harvest, and the balance of light and dark as autumn approaches. In this ancient Celtic Ritual, it has the purification of Bread and wine much like what Christians do as Communion. If Communion was taken from a Celtic Ritual that is based upon a Celtic Holiday is that not also still incorporating Magick?

In the book Celtic Magick by DJ Conway, the Lunasa Ritual outlines as thus:

Cast the circle, call out 4 corners or 4 watchtowers, Light Cauldron Candle and say "Oh ancient gods of the celts, I do ask your precense here, for this is  time that is not a time, in a place that is not a place on a day that is not a day, and I await you."  Then set a plate of bread on the pentacle. Stand still and breath deeply for a few moments. Concentrating upon the cleansing power of the breath and air. When you feel ready say: "I have purified myself by breathing the life force of the universe and expelling all evil from me."

Then lift the plate of bread high then set it back on the alter and say: "I know that every seed, every grain is a record of ancient times and a promise to all of what shall be, this break represents life eternal through the cauldron of the triple goddess."  Now Eat a piece of bread ( sound familiar?)  Put the challice of wine on the pentacle, hold the wine in the air and set it back on the alter and say "As the grape undergoes change to become wine, so by the sacred cauldron of life shall I undergo change and as this wine can give man enchantment of the divine or sink him into the lower realms, so I do realize that all humans rise or fall according to their strength and will" Drink some of the wine (Again sound familiar?)

Then after drinking wine you say: "As in the bread and wine, so it is with me, within all forms it is locked a record of the past and a promise for the future. I ask that you lay your blessings upon me, ancient ones, that this season of waning light and increasing darkness may not be heavy, so mote it be,"  Then do the standard closing of letting go of the watch towers and putting out candles, and casting the circle (DJ Conway).

This is nearly the exact same ritual as communion, the only difference is that Christians changed it to symbolize the blood of Jesus and the Bread for the Body of Jesus and they say different words. Orriginally the Bread and Wine ritual came from a Celtic Holladay and thus using basic Magick ritual/spell to ingest Jesus's energy instead of the ancient deities to create a connection to Jesus through spirit and soul Magick.

So now to answer the question What is Magick? Magick is basically the manipulation of Astral Energies and the connection to the higher self. Of which case, happens in every culture and religion. Meditation is a way to connect to the higher self which is manipulating your own astral energies, and thus Magick. Magick is a natural part of this world of which God (primal source who is the nameless one) and the Gods (Created by primal source to help create life and run the universe) put here on earth. It is one of our gifts. For Centuries people used magick to heal, and make food and contact the god's and the dead.

Also the whole candle burning thing that comes from Magick. Burning White Candles in the church to purify the space is something Pagans have done for a long time. Creating holy water is not just within the power of the church but within the power of ones own being. Burning Incense to create a sacred and purified state is also something that comes from the pagans. The Chalice and incense burners and the way rituals are held in the Catholic Church, as well as Many of the churches Ideas come from Pagans. If Christians and priests and pastors actually took the time to do the research and be open-minded about it, I bet anything people would realize that Magick is everywhere, in everything despite what they have come to believe.

One of the problems I have with Christianity, is that they Condemn Magick but yet use it at the same time. Which is totally hypocritical. Jesus was sent by the primal source to become a teacher to man, and help restore the balance of this world, but Man (influenced by the devil who is not the same entity as the god of the underworld and is not Lucifer the fallen angel) twisted his teachings and dominated the world into a patriarchy seeking power and control of the human race.

Another problem I have with Christianity is something they do not realize, but they are being manipulated by what they call the devil, who is not the god of the underworld nor is he Hades or satan, The devil is a whole different entity who is seeking to disrupt the balance of this world and wants to conquer this section of the universe, and has been fairly successful in the last 2500 years or so since Christianity conquered the western world through religion. When Christians try to Connect to Jesus through meditation and prayer (just like in ancient cultures) Some of them connect to something that they shouldn't be connecting with instead because they give up their will to "God" and in surrendering their will, they surrender their strength and are easily manipulated and can easily be possessed (or so that is what makes sense to me).  Instead of connecting to their own higher selves they are actually connecting to something other than themselves and that is not the way it is supposed to go. Truth comes from within yourself, not from a book, nor from another inter-dimensional Being.

The God of the underworld is not the devil nor is he the source of all evil. He is just one of the god's who is good and who does his job is in order to put balance on this earth by taking the dead and making sure they go to the right places either down in his underworld (or prison) for people who are bad, or to heaven for people who are good. His Celtic Name is Arawn, his greek name is Hades and has many more names in other pantheons. Christians like to call him Satan, But like I said he is someone that is not to be feared, and is on the side of good in his own way. 

If anything I think the source of all evil comes from humans and their stubbornness and their misguided religions. After all it was the Christians who decided to pin the source of all evil on a God that is just doing its Job to help the primal source of creation run the universe. It was Christians who killed millions of innocent men, women, and Children in crusades, and even ended up Killing other Christians because they objected to the conquest that happened so long ago.

Some Churches have even manipulated the bible so much that it promotes hate towards GLBT, People of different skin colors, and just hate towards people who are not Christian and still cling to the old pagan pantheons. I have read some of the bible and I have even heard preachers preach to people that we are supposed to hate what god hates and then they have a list of what god hates. The most misguided and naive thing about Christianity is saying that god hates anything. The Ture Primal Source God (who is neither male or female but both at the same time and is called the nameless one) does not Hate anything. God the primal source of Creation is all about Love. Christians Teach Love, but from my experience it is a very limited love that they teach. God is only supposed to love Christians and hate everything else. So not true. This is why I became Pagan. I just got tired of all these lies and misguided-ness.

The last Problem I have with Christians is their whole view of what is evil and what is good, and the whole Light V.S. Darkness. I have stated in a previous blog called The Battle of Light and Dark that Darkness doesn't mean evil and that darkness is not to be afraid. You may go to the blog for farther information.

Viewers Discretion: I do not think Christians are evil. I have met many Christians who are on the side of light and good. I have met many Christian Individuals who are open minded and also don't believe everything the bible says and they still are very spiritual people. I have some Christian Friends who have some the same spiritual gifts I have and accept what is and what isn't. Also I am not attacking Christians individually or their faith, I am just stating what I have experienced and seen through my eyes of The Christian/Catholic Church, and not the individuals who are believers. These are opinions I have formed by researching other religions and the unbiased look into Christian History. No harm is intended to any one or anything.

The Third Eye

So what is the third eye? The third eye rests on the forehead above the two physical eyes. It is said to be the focal point in spiritual development. It is known as the eye of Horus in ancient Egyptian legends and there are teachings of it from Christianity to Buddhists. Across the whole globe for years it has been known. So if you don't believe it exists then how come its been known since the dawn of time? It is known to hold great power, your higher self, or your soul. It helps with the development of psychic talents, and is also known physically as the pineal gland. Pineal glands in humans have been for the most part mainly been dormant in humans. Scientific studies of the pineal gland have been rumored that the more active this gland is in a human the more that human seems to be aware of things and know things they couldn't have known before. They are recorded as psychics or highly intuitive individuals. Here is the link to explain more in depth what this eye is about.

In any case, this past week I have started to open my eye. It is about 25 percent of the way open and let me tell you I am still trying to get used to the effects. The energies I feel and sense are heightened, I am starting to get more visions and much of the time I don't need my cards in order to activate my seer's ability. My Medium abilities are getting stronger. I was able to channel a dead spirit for the first time inside my body and all I can say is, it was strange.

I sometimes have so many voices and visions in my head that I don't know exactly what is going on half the time. Things in my head are a bit fuzzy but still cant rule out the intuition and the feeling that someone else was in control of my body. It just felt weird. However, I disclose to those who believe in psychics that I am not a strong psychic like Sylvia Browne or Chris. Half the time I don't know what I'm seeing means, and sometimes I don't even know if my impressions or intuition is correct. All I know is sometimes what I see and what I feel seems to either come true or be true on some level, even if it is the most basic level. Not only that but the future is not set in stone. It can change with every small decision you make. Also I really feel that Psychic is a bad word because I don't consider myself psychic. I consider myself a seer, a medium, and highly intuitive. Not only that but I don't do readings for people for money. I do it for free when I feel like it. And most of the time they are for people of friends and family. Mainly it is for practice and for fun. One of the main reasons why people who use the word psychic get ridiculed because most of them are fake.

One of the rules I was taught by my spirit guide is to never charge for services. They told me that I was meant to help others without personal gain and getting money or accepting money to make a big profit,  for readings is personal gain. There is only one Claimed Psychic that I feel is a true anomaly in the "Psychic Business" and that is Sylvia Browne, but I don't agree with her tactics to charge tons of money just to help people. All that is doing reinforcing the stereotype and taking money from people who are probably poor and putting it on their credit cards and creating more debt in this failing economy. How is that helping anyone? Think about it. How is charging people to help them, really helping them?

If she really saw the events or changes that are to come in this world, you would think she would do more than just do readings to help others. Or charging to be members of her inner circle website? How is charging helping people in this economy? If I were as strong as her in her abilities, then the only thing Id do is is charge for travel costs if I have to travel to other states and other countries but doing readings for profit? I don't think I would do that no matter how poor or desperate I get.  I don't know why I get so irritated with her. I love her because she is an amazing true psychic, I can sense that just by looking at her picture, but I hate her at the same time for reinforcing stereotypes and making a profit off of her gifts...it seems so wrong to me. Sighs...

Another Psychic I must blog about is Allison Dibois. From what I can tell about her, is she is just Highly intuitive and isn't really psychic either. Don't get me wrong, the TV show that was inpired by her is really entertaining, but Her intuition and abilities aren't that strong, she gets mixed signals a lot and doesn't always know the things she claims to know. She only thinks she knows. Her third eye hasn't opened yet, and so she isn't as strong as she thinks she is. Sylvia Browne, however, has her third eye completely open. I get the sense that Sylvia was a very high Ranking Isis priestess in a lot of her past lives. She was always a strong Seer, medium in many of her past lives and that power has accumulated in her soul where as Alison Dibois, this is her first life gaining any sense of psychic talents. She has newbie status compared to Sylvia.

Wierd Dream about my ex- maybe hes dead or will be dead?

I had this dream about my ex. It was strange. I was viewing episodes of a show but it was wierd because I was in it. I was watching myself getting in contact with My ex Who I feel I had left things unresolved with. I am over the relationship but I spent 2 years with this guy and I still think about him and dream about him from time to time... And in any case I had contacted him in the dream and it was hard for him but he was willing to be friends again. We played dnd with my twin flame and his friends. Then since he found out I was going to the convention that he goes to every year, We decided to go drive down to this convention that we had gone before. We got stuck in minneapolis somewhere and there were all kinds of creatures everywhere. I had to do something and I think at some point we got lost, and then find eachother again. Anyway we decide to keep driving to this convention and somehow while he was driving this girl in White hair we both saw stopped us. She was calling herself the crone and I could see all these people and these spirit guides around us. Then she says something to my ex and he lays down and I see his spirit go outside his body and he then is dressed differently and looked peaceful than he normally was. I was like take me too, I love him, I must be with him etc, and she fights me on this saying its not my time, etc and then she says fine you can come with too, but for now you must sleep. She touches me and knocks me out. I woke up in the dream hours later only to find that down the road the car that we were driving in was in an accident and I was a bout 50 feet away from the car. I wake up in the middle of the road and the police and people were looking for my body but I started waking up and walking towards the car horrified and hurt. I then snap out of this tv episode that was playing and I couldn't figure out where in the timeline of eposides where and when this was happening. I couldn't find it and re-watch it again. I then woke up I mean really woke up in my bed wondering wtf? I chose my soul mate/ twin flame to be with, not him, why would I do anything like that? Or most importantly the question that came to mind, is Eric Dead? I keep thinking maybe he's dead but maybe he can't be. I don't understand why I had this dream.

Friendship repair spell

Copyright: Nevaeh Jasmine

 If you ever find yourself in need to repair a friendship, I just created this spell. Mainly because I had a friend I thought was long gone but according to some of our mutual aquantences, apparently this ex friend is missing me, and to be quite honest I miss her too some days. Wondering if I was too harsh, maybe I should have communicated more, or did something different but yet still stood my ground.

I am human and I know most of us may not be able to handle certain types of situations with grace and finesse that it sometimes requires.  I am still unsure I want to be friends with her. I don't trust her but she needs me. I may not be able to put out as much effort but one of my best qualities is I am a very good friend to people I care about, and I have not stopped caring about this person. Her and I had been friends for over ten years. I used to look up to her when I was a freshman because she is a little bit older than I am, and at the time considered her the sister I never had.

Candles colors: White, Blue, and Green
White for protection, Blue for meditation and peace, and green for friendships and healing

Anyway for herbs I used Lavender, Jasmine, Vervarian root pieces, Eucalyptus leaves, and rose buds.
 I used lavender and jasmine because it is associated with peace, Vervarian because it can be associated with friendships as well as rosebuds, and Eucalyptus leaves because it is a healing herb. The vibes I wanted to send were Peace, friendship, and healing. Peace of mind, repairing friendship, and Healing our wounds from the fight/issues that were going on.

Write on a piece of paper of the name ( and possible the intent and objective) of the person you are trying to repair the friendship with.

Once all the supplies have been gathered, the herbs should be put into a ceramic bowl, the candles lit, and whatever incense you would like to use. I used rose smelling incense for Friendship love.

Put the piece of paper inside the ceramic bowl with the unburned herbs.

Recide this spell/words/poem, and imagine healing and love, friendship, and understanding, and peace between the two of you.

 I wish to repair this friendship. 

Let anger, resentment, and issues surrounding it

be worked out and replace any harmful energies

With love, peace, patience, and understanding

so no harm comes anyone.

If this is your will so mote it be.

Then light the piece of paper on fire so that the herbs are also being burned into the sky. Then put holy water over the ashes.  (yes this will create a mess..) Then dump the ashes and gunk on the ground outside (if you are doing it inside) so that mother earth can do its healing. 

Close the spell and do whatever it is you need to do to repair your friendship as in writing letters/notes/ making a phone call/ etc. May the goddess bless you.

Night Prayer and morning prayer

So this is a nigh prayer I wrote for the goddess to pray before bedtime.

 Thank you great goddess for this day

For the blessings it brought

and for the lessons it taught, 

May my sleep be peacful

May my dreams be good

May I rest so that tomorrow I do my best

So mote it be.

The morning prayer I wrote is this one.

 Thank you great goddess for this day

that I am about to enjoy

May it be filled with blessings,

may it be filled with learning

May it be filled with love and peace

May I do my very best today to stay positive

Thank you goddess for hearing my prayer.

The only problem with praying is I'm usually not very good at doing it as often as I should.

My new alter

So my brother has finally moved out. I had my boyfriend and one of my best friends come over and help me clean my room. There is still stuff to do but for the most part I got my alter set up and this is what it looks like. One of my spirit guides is a bear so I used a fleace bear material and then I put my rabbit pelts I got from a trading post up north while visiting a Native American museum  in my youth. I can't wait to make use of it. It has been weeks since I have done any cleansing or any meditating. I have been working overnights and mostly have been sleeping and working only. I think I am going to do that before I go to bed tonight because I think It really needs to be done. I haven't really been doing any magick all last month since I started overnights but I hope to change that. I feel it is much needed.

Also The concept of prayer I only thought was just a christian thing but I recently found out prayer and daily dedications/meditations are from all religions and not just christainity. My issue is, choosing which god or godess to pray to. I think it should be mother earth. Anyway I am  going to get started on that. Good night everyone.