Hawthorn Berry

Hawthorn Berry is a herb that has many uses. According to this website it states:

Used to promote the health of the circulatory system, treat angina, high blood pressure, congestive heart failure and cardiac arrhythmia and has been found to strengthen the heart. Hawthorn is widely regarded in Europe as a safe and effective treatment for the early stages of heart disease and has been used for a number of ailments including angina, myocarditis, arteriosclerosis, nervous conditions like insomnia, and diarrhea. It has also been indicated for strengthening blood vessels, vascular insufficiency and blood clots, restoring the heart muscle wall,
lowering cholesterol and to aid digestion. 


I picked up some Hawthorn berry at the herbal shop for magical purposes, because its good for firtility for its magical uses, but I may start taking it for medicinal purposes as well because heart disease runs in my family. Probably since I don't have heart disease yet, probably take it weekly and not everyday. Who knows maybe I can get my mom to take Hawthorn berry herbals because she has a lot of issues with her heart and blood pressure. Instead of taking a million pills she only needs to take one or two of the hawthorn berry, or drink tea.  Same with my dad. I intend to get more hawthorn berries to see if it will help out my parents live a little more healthier.

Crossroads.

First thing is I wrote a blog about Mastering anger at blogspot back in April. I have been trying to figure out the inner source of my inner anger issues which has some how been passed down from my past lives, as well as this life. I was told once that if you dream or remember certain aspects of past lives more than others that it means there are still past life issues unresolved, and some how have to come to terms and move on from them in this life. The past lives I remember have nothing but pain and anguish in them. After all I have been murdered brutally, Raped brutally and murdered in another, Had been forced to watch my children die and get murdered themselves, or even kill others in the fight for survival in my warrior days, and even burned at the stake. I know I had good lives too but they are fuzzy memories. I am a very old soul, and I am angry. My humanity doesn't understand why I had to go through these things. I know it was for a reason and since I believe these lives were mapped out before I was even alive in them, I don't understand why I would subject myself to such brutality. I have been hurt so much and through so much and I am just tired. I am angry because I feel the world's cruelty and the weight of it on my shoulders, and yet helpless that I can't do anything about it. The world I know is not in my hands, it belongs to the Gods and Goddesses of this plane of existence.

Which that very same thing leads me to the next part. The crossroads part I should say. I have a desire to help others. but yet I am artistic, and good with arts and crafts. I also learn fast and know that I can do anything I want to do. When I was Christian, I felt that God's will for me was to become a psychologist or a counselor. I didn't get very good grades, and I wasn't very passionate with pursuing that goal. It also doesn't help I was hurt in college really bad by my first love, and felt alone and isolated from everyone I knew because I went out of state for school. I have an interest on the theories of psychology, and in learning to understand how and why people think, and behave as they do, but I am already a natural at that. Why do I need to go through all this research and training to do what it is I naturally can do?

In any case, the part that gets me thinking is I am not Christian any more, and I fully realize what it means to have Free will. If that path was something that I was really meant to do then why is it that I feel I should be doing something different? Something that will drive my passion to work for what it is I really want to be doing? The most important question is also, What is it really that I want to do?  Psychology and being a counselor may seem like the right thing to do or seem like the best way to be helping people but who says it is the only path? What is it really that I want to do with my life that will make it meaningful? Does it really mean I really want to help people?

Does that also mean my life decisions based on my past religion no longer valid? Why am I still searching for these answers? I am 24 going on 25, shouldn't I already know the answer to that? Also what if I just exist for the sake of existence?  I am talented, strong willed, stubborn, courageous, and have so much potential to make my life the way I'd like it to be, so whats stopping me?  I think what's stopping me is that I don't have any idea what I really want from life.

Book of Shadows- home made

So I created my new BOS for when my other one gets filled up. Only got maybe 30 pages left. This is how I did it.

I got creative, I didnt have all the traditional tools like a crafting hole poker thing (awll) so I used scissors instead to poke the holes in the paper. but in any case Im getting a head of myself. I improvised a lot of the instructions on this website http://www.ehow.com/how_5476214_make-own-journal.html?fb_ref=like&a...

But in any case I measured the size that I want and my parents usually burn cardboard and paper. It just so happened that the swans man came this week too so there were boxes of swans food and the boxes were really thick. Thick enough for a hard cover and binding. So I cut the cardboard down to size plus cut up a bunch of paper to size.

Then I poked the holes in the paper and sewed the paper together. Then I put two strips through the bindings to hold the paper in place and glued the flaps down onto the cover. Then I decorated it accordingly.

So there is my new book of shadows. Made out of card board, but looks store bought lol :P I am sooo creative! Also since I made it, it has been calling me to write in it but I must wait until my other physical BOS is used up.

Protection from harmful spells

So every once in awhile you might piss someone off due to making mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes, we are only human after all. Unfortunately there are a lot of big heads out there who think they can do anything they want to someone without their consent. Those who have big heads and consider themselves more divine than you, may or may not try casting spells against you. One they cannot cast something without your consent, if they do they themselves will generate bad karma from it. Also if they do and you feel it working, please take action immediately.

Someone tried to cast a binding powers spell on me just because I pissed someone off. However, I apologized and did everything I could to rectify the situation, so why this spell was cast on me I have no idea. But to purposefully cast a binding powers spell to exact revenge is considered a harmful spell. Anyone who does something to hurt another for whatever reason is against moral standards. There is only one way someone can bind your powers and that is if you know about it and have a good reason, like if you were to go crazy and bringing harm to others through your magick, and/or if you were just too powerful and you needed to repress your powers until you could handle it. I have a friend who needed to do a power repression spell because she is just too powerful and cant control all her powers. It happens sometimes. one thing is for certain they thought I was a super newb, newbie that they thought I wouldn't figure it out, and might have felt it was for my own good.

Lets say you figure it out? what do you do. Well I made this spell return the spell that was cast. You do all the necessary prep work for it though. I'm just going to write the incantations. You may change things how you like, or add components but this is what I personally wrote.

Return this spell to its owner,

return it back 3 times fold,

let karma take its toll

so that no one is harmed

if this is your will so mote it be. 

Then imagine any energy that is not your returning to the source.

If the spell partially worked and your powers feel half way bound, or weaker than normal, I also wrote a restoration spell for it. 

Restore my memory to the way it was,

let me remember who I am,

and where my powers come from,

and restore the power that was lost,

Unbind the powers that were bound,

so harm comes to no one,

If this is your will so mote it be.

Well you may need to alter this one to fit your situation but when the spell was casted on me, I felt I was forgetting who I was and my purpose on this earth. That is why I also did a restoration memory thing in the beginning. Depending on the situation you may not need that part. 

Then the last thing I created was the protection spell against harmful spell.s

Protect me from harmful spells,

let no magick  or spell penetrate this shield without my consent,

those who attempt to harm me through magick or a spell

return it to its owner three times fold

so that no one may be harmed,

If this is your will, so mote it be.

Then imagine a huge shield around yourself and imagine spells bouncing off and returning to its owner.

In any case only use these spells to protect yourself. Some people are just immature and think magick is going to solve all their problems when it is not. Like with the above situation.

Silver RavenWolf Books pt 2

Ok, so after some events, I feel I am no longer a silver ravenwolf fan. I have nothing personal against her but I realize why I am so confused on wiccan theology and lets just say it is because Ravenwolf doesn't have accurate information. I still don't mind her spells as examples of how spells are constructed but that's about it.

My Journey Part 2

So my real name is not Neveah Jasmine. It is an alias designed to

protect my real identity. I don't want my real identity to be known due to the vast dangers associated with the internet.

This is an extension of my journey. To update about the changes I have made in the last few months.

In july/august of last year I started get dreams about demons attacking me as well as me attacking them to kill them or banish them. Id wake up feeling drained, and have physical evidence in the morning that I had fought something like bruises appearing out of randomness. I'd cover myself up in order to hide it. Then as I kept having them I started remembering that I had those dreams when I was little. One demon dream was so bad that I had been paralyzed and couldn't move when I woke up. I submerged myself in research, first starting with the Gnostic Gospels. I used to hold some Christian values and teachings when I first started out, and called myself Gnostic Christian. Got a hold of gnostic texts. I then did some research Wicca, druidism, and started rereading my old notes in high school on ancient Native Americans, since I was part Native American I had a secondary culture class and they taught other ancient ways of looking at things. I should have taken the hint back then but my parents negative influence did not help any. But in any case I learned to cleanse through Native American Techniques that seemed to keep negative/harmful dreams away. I made a dream catcher as well. And during this time I was really scared of my dreams. When I started on my path, I felt I was waking up finally from a bad nightmare. I felt like I had a new sense of purpose, instead of walking blind like I had been for years. I felt rejuvenated and started to ground myself in who I was. I started accepting what I really believed in, and that is Magick, and that there was more than one God. But I do admit my education isn't in depth. I have only looked at the basics of things to try and figure out what was going on with my dreams.

However, today I don't follow much of any Christian theology. I have been trying to purge myself and cleanse myself of those values that were thrust upon me by my family. To change everything is hard, especially getting rid of the duality notion. I still hold the duality notion but I don't consider things to be evil or good, just a matter of light and darkness, and basing things on intent, so its complicated. Still don't fully understand how there is no duality in Wicca. I understand more of the yin yang philosophy and the balance of light and dark, Life and death notion, and the other things the yin yang stands for. Reason why right now I can't choose a specific path to follow because I have too many complicated and mixed beliefs from many different religions, and I don't think I need to choose right now. I just enjoy using magick, creating and using spells, creating energy balls to play with and using my gifts to help others.

But in any case I did figure out that there is tons of negative energy being produced by my family, and my powers were awakened before I was ready so I had to cram everything and its all a big mess in my head, and those demon dreams are from my gift of sight and my medium abilities I think, well most of them were anyway. It was showing me that I needed to wake up, and cleanse myself, and start anew. However, Still cant explain the demon possession/death dream that left me paralyzed and cold as ice in the morning. That one still puzzles me, but Its not something I really want to fully understand or tell what the dream is right now. I hope to keep learning and find out new stuff about myself and to keep practicing magick.

The first spell - letting go of a past lover.

on October 31st 2010 I had cast my first spell. At the time I was still trying to get over my ex. It took me about a couple of weeks before I felt comfortable to try and cast a spell. The date was obviously Halloween or what pagans like to call  Samhain. I decided to try a letting go of past love spell on myself. After all it was a new year for pagans so I thought what a great way to welcome the new year by letting go of my past love and moving on into a new year. I basically did a simple candle spell. However, I ran into an issue. my alter at the time sat right below my fire alarm and burning stuff made it go off so I had to end things quickly. But anyway here's the spell.


Write on a piece of paper the name of your past lover/boyfriend etc,
Light a white candle
Chant this while you set the piece of paper on fire and put it in the culdrun to burn

"Godess help me to move on and look towards the future and to let go of the past lover.

I let go of (insert name here) in my heart.
Allow healing, learning, and growth.
A new beginning this year,
Refreshed and ready to love again
So none may be harmed,
if this is your will so mote it be"

Then after let the piece of paper burn to ashes, Then toss the ashes outside on the ground or in the wind.

Blood Magick- fertility spell.

So I have been researching about blood Magick, mainly because lately, due to a females reproduction hormones, I have been curious about menstrual blood magick. Mainly in the use in fertility rituals and spells. A few days ago I even wrote my own fertility spell. Which is a very taboo subject in Fluffy Bunny, white magick only, guru's. Blood Magick in general it is not always about sacrifices or about evil. In many ancient cultures, they practiced blood magick for protection, fertility and binding people/objects to you. It gives a ton of extra power to what you are doing because blood is associated with life and death. Most people when seeing blood think of death and destruction and darkness.

However, people forget blood is also what keeps us alive and therefore is a powerful life force, and is believed to be mainly about life force in many different cultures (ancient and/or modern). Blood has it's own element.  However I do not promote binding someone to you. In some ways that is messing with free will and messing with free will gives really bad Karma. Also blood magick is very very powerful. Do not use unless it is absolutely necessary. Like with all magick there are consequences and can be used for good or for evil. My intent is always about good.  It can be done as an additive to any ritual or spell you cast, except for money and success spells. I read somewhere it wont work for those type of spells. Not only that but you should only use your own blood, and not someone else's. If you do use someone elses blood depending on the ritual or spell that needs to be cast, they need to be giving it willingly and not be forced victims.

Anyway a reason why this is such a taboo subject, is because there are a lot of bad people out there who probably used blood magick for evil. Such as Charles Manson and the Manson family. They did what is known as bloodletting which is basically letting people bleed to a certain point and then closing the wound. I don't know what sick twisted rituals were preformed with bloodletting in Charles Manson's family of insanity, but I heard it was pretty dark and twisted. That is something that is not right. Anyway I just thought Id comment on that.

 Anyway as for my Fertility spell, the reason why I thought of it is because I know I may have reproduction issues in the future, and I know I want kids. I love kids and children and babys, and I want to conceive someday. I still am going to need to do all the medical treatments I need for my condition, but in order to help along in the process I decided to create a fertility spell using menstrual blood, and yes my own menstrual blood.

The herbs to be used or can be used are nettle leaves, rasberry leaves, rose buds, red clover, ginsing, and mistletoe.

The main incredient however is menstruation blood.

Basically what you do is mix up rasberry leaves, rose buds, gensing, mistletoe and also any other herbs you wish to add to it. Sprinkle some of the herbs around a green candle and save some for a sachet. The best way I think Id like to aquire menstration blood is to use a piece of gauze or cotten ball or something. Purify the blood and cleanse the energies with myrrh oil. Then put it in the sachet and bless it. Then put remaining herbs in the sachet, then put the satchet in the middle of the circle of herbs and in front of the candle.

Burn the green candle  and chant:

"Godess (of your choice) Mother earth, hear my plea,

Cleanse and purify my body so that it can carry life. 

(Imagine cleansing yourself and opening the pelvis chakra. Imagine good female/menstral health)

Menstral blood, life force of the unborn, I wilingly give,

Fertility herbs, the power to ready my body for new life,

green candle the color of earth and life,

Let life grow inside when its willing and ready,

Do this so that no one is harmed. 

If this is your will, so mote it be"

Then channel all the energies in the satchet and Imagine yourself pregnant. Imagine feeling life growing inside you and your desire for life and children, until you feel the spell is completed. Then do the closing ritualistic things, and then either you can carry it with you at all times, or Put the sachet under the matress that you sleep on or make love on, while making love to your husband/spouse/partner, or you can put it inside an easter egg and decorate the easter egg with symbols and runes of firtlity and put it in a window. Best time to do this would obviously be the full moon during spring, but can also be done at any time during the right moons phases and possible during a certain day during the week. 

Also note: if you wish to add a stone or something to the satchet too during the assembly process, Rose quartz I think are the best for channeling fertility spells. There might be other stones but it is up to you.

Anyway that is my fertility/health spell and a little information on blood magick.

New Additions to the alter

So I have a new dagger, quartz Crystal geodes, and a small vial of myrrh oil. I got these for fairly cheap. Cheaper than most cult stores would sell in MN. The geodes were 3 dollars each or two for 5 bucks and they were fairly large.  They protect and heal and absorb energies.  The dragon dagger is really nice to have because now I got something to really cut stuff with like herbs and candles. Very nice and got that for only 13 bucks. I thought it was awesome. When I saw it. I felt it calling to me. :)